Las Vegas

2008-07-06T18:32:00.001-07:00

Las Vegas developer Steve Wynn announced today that he has purchased the Venetian Hotel. "I am very pleased that we have been able to acquire this particular property as it will allow us to move forward with the next step in the transformation of this wonderful city."
Rumors abound that Wynn plans to demolish the Venetian which has been losing money for years and rebuild the Sands on its original location.
The Sands would employ many of its original features. It will likely be a two story motor hotel with ample street parking, fifty cent steaks, and Harry Connick Jr. will headline in the new ballroom.

Germany

2008-07-06T18:12:00.000-07:00

President Bush announced today that the American presence in Germany will be phased out over the course of the next six months. "At this point we do not see Germany as a threat and are working closely with our allies in France to agree on the withdrawal process."
Despite sixty plus years of non-aggression, some French are concerned about their country being seized for the third time in less than a century, "My wife is still finding pieces of a German Stuka that crashed into our house in 1940." said Jean Louis Deitrich, who owns the largest Audi dealer in Rouen. "I just am not comfortable associating with the Germans in any way."
Bush went on to say that most of the troops would be used to beef up defenses in and around the harbor at Charleston, South Carolina. "I don't believe we have fully implemented all that we learned from the Southern Strategy of the English Navy and Admiral Howe." he argued, referring to the fact that our troops, under command of General Washington, were snowbound in New Jersey and unable to follow the Royal Navy Man-O-Wars south from New York.

Phony Bologna

Las Vegas

Germany